Something odd has happened over the last few months. I appear to be getting older. Now even I'm aware this isn't a new thing...but yes, it is. Take what happened about a month ago. My wife and I were out on a Sunday afternoon in the local shopping centre. Spur of the moment, I decided to buy some jeans. Pretty easy, you'd think. Well, it would have been if I wanted to spend around sixty quid on a bog standard pair of jeans in any one of ten stores aimed at...how can I say this politely...wankers. To put my grumpy old man hat on for a moment, it was ridiculous. I'm not the sort of man who spends three hours getting ready to go out, making sure I'm wearing all the right things so people will think I'm cool. That really isn't me. I don't spend £15 on hair gel (even if I had any bleedin hair, I wouldn't). I don't want to listen to crap music played too loudly while I try clothes on and I don't want twenty year old shop assistants looking at me like I'm their dull uncle.
So what's happened? Has it been that long since I've bought any clothes? Have all these shops popped up over the last two months and nobody's told me? Am I now no longer the target demographic for these shops because I'm not in my twenties? Or am I right in not wanting to spend that much on a pair of jeans?
It's not the only thing. A couple of weeks ago, my brother threw a surprise party for his wife's birthday. It was a good night; I had a few shandies and woke up the next morning feeling like utter crap. Here's the thing: I drink regularly, but I don't drink to get drunk. You won't find me puking into a drain at three in the morning. I just like to have a few beers. The days of not caring about a hangover are long gone and I don't miss them. So how did I end up feeling that rough after what was no more than six pints of bitter? While I wouldn't expect to feel fresh and fruity the morning after, I wouldn't expect to feel as if I'd been drinking shots all night. Strange times, brothers and sisters.
So put this sort of stuff with the realisation that if I want to see the majority of my friends, I have to bear in mind babysitters etc, I think I'm getting old. So be it, I suppose. If the alternative is being a total arse in overpriced clothes and thinking a Saturday night is a waste of time unless I try to drink my own weight in lager, then count me out.
I'm off to shop at C&A...it still exists, doesn't it?